The Perfect First Date

So you've finally scored a date with the person you've been after for months, and the little voice in the back of your head is telling you that you're probably going to screw the whole thing up. What can you do? I've found that a systematic approach works best, even though the planning takes time and can make you even MORE nervous (if that's possible). So before you do anything else, sit down a minute and decide what kind of tone you want to set for the date. What does he/she like to do? Do you want to set a light, fun tone, or something more serious?

Now you have a vague idea of what might be fun. Sit down and plan it out. I know flying by the seat of your pants can be fun, and there's certainly a place for it- later. On a later date. This time, you're trying to make an impression like the one they've apparently already made on you.

The first thing to do here is look at the timing. An evening date is a little more difficult to plan, just because places close and your options become more limited. This is especially true if you live in a smaller city. Let's start with dinner (or, if you're on a date earlier in the day, lunch). One of the most mortifying mistakes I made on a first date was taking them to a Brazilian grill when they didn't eat meat. So find out if they're allergic to certain things, if they don't like some kinds of foods, and so forth. Trust me, it will save you a lot of problems later on.

Choosing a place to go eat is not really that hard. The things to remember are: avoid places that are too noisy (you can't hear your date talk), and places that are just inappropriate (take me to Denny's and the date ends right there). As a matter of personal preference, I prefer sit-down places, instead of an order at the counter experience. It makes the date a little more formal, and the time you would spend at the counter is time you can better spend getting to know your date.

And please, when you're selecting food? Choose things that aren't going to give you bad breath. One person I was on a first date with ate what I can only imagine was a POUND of garlic and then tried to kiss me at the end. You guys, I'm pretty sure they were testing to see if I was a vampire or something. We'd gone for a walk afterwards and they were sweating a bit (it was very hot outside) and even their sweat smelled like garlic. Not attractive at all.

So what do you do after dinner? That is the question, isn't it? Movies are always a temptation, and they can be good. But it makes it hard to continue to get to know your date, what with the silence. My favorite first date I've ever been on was to an art museum that was still open. We got to keep talking, and connected over what turned out to be a shared admiration of certain artists. And we're still together, so that's always a plus.

Whatever you choose, make sure it's something you'll both enjoy. I mean, a movie you hate won't be good for you, and it's likewise for them. A little compromise goes a long way.

Now the date's over, it's the next day, and you want to go out with them again. Cool.

The 48 hour rule is a whole bunch of nonsense. But at the same time, you don't want to come across as all desperate when you call for another date. My personal rule of thumb is to wait until- at the very least- the end of the following day to call. Now, one way to get around that is the good old fashioned text message. Can you send flirty texts? Seems like a good plan to me!